University of Birmingham Medical Society

Islamic Medical Society

Islamic Medical Society News

  • Join us for IMed Birmingham's second ascent of Pen-y-Fan, the highest mountain in South Wales! This time we are climbing in aid of the Syrian emergency appeal by Human Appeal. Millions of innocent men, women and children have been displaced, and are in need of vital medical care. You can help their cause by joining our justgiving fundraising page @ Can you beat the 12,000 raised last time?

    Get your ticket now at:

    Bring warm clothes, good footwear and plenty of snacks!
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  • Another Kafi Osman Report:

    ?Attack wins you games. Defence wins you titles?
    Sir Alex Ferguson
    ?You can?t win anything with kids?
    Alan Hansen
    Report by IMED?s own
    MAN OF THE TOURNAMENT: Ibrahim Malik
    What an evening of exquisite football as the ?4th/5th year medics? team sealed a remarkable victory in IMED?s annual football tournament. With bragging rights at stake and top senior IMED personnel such as Munir Abukhder and Usman Shaikh (MY PRESIDENT) coming down to watch, this tournament already had the feel of something special; and something special it truly turned out to be.
    On a blistery cold and wintery evening on Bournebrook pitches, over 50 of IMED?s finest footballers (sorry Haroon, speedy recovery pal) descended and braved the elements to win this prestigious of prizes. With Humza (our designated IMED sports? rep) informing everyone to turn up at 7:30pm (with everyone following typical Muslim timing and turning up at 8pm anyways) games were able to kickoff promptly at 8pm. 2 groups of 4 teams with the 2 highest ranking teams from each after 3 games progressing to the semi-finals. Simple.
    Going back to the team I represented, the ?4th/5th year medics?, led by the one and only Captain Ibrahim Hossain, decided to go for ?substance over style? in their search for players. So, to fill the team quota we managed to gain 3 star players in Zaid (record for exerting the least amount of energy on a football picth whilst still being highly effective), David (our very own Patrick Vieira, dominating the midfield throughout) and Arvind ( a masterclass in modern day Centre-forward day, unselfish throughout and stretched the defence at all times). With these 3 giants on top of players like Jabed (who told me for the 824824284782492th time yesterday that he?s 6?3 which is apparently a record for a Bengali) we knew we had a team that was going to be extremely difficult to beat. SOME PROPER BREXIT FOOTBALL LADZZZZZZZ.
    So as the group stage round progressed In group A (in group B all I know is that the 3rd year medics finished first and the 3rd year dentists second) there were three tough teams competing for a place in the semi-final (with no offence to the medic 1/2nd year team, you guys parked the car, bus, tank, plane, football that would?ve had Mourinho crying with happiness). With a draw in the first game against Paksoc for ourselves (with myself playing as some kind of LM/CM/auxiliary CB but not actually being anywhere useful!) we knew the importance of beating the medic 1/2nd year team in the next game. With Farris and Ridwan putting in solid defensive shifts (tbh they could?ve had a couple of pints, put the kettle on and had a cuppa because they didn?t even venture past the halfway line), we huffed and puffed but struggled to score against my lil bro (Samatar) in goals and an astutely organised defence which was pegged back throughout. Zaid even had time to casually do some skills on the halfway line in his own unique laidback way of making football look easy (Matt Le Tissier Esque). A quality performance despite some DUBIOUS REFEREEING if I might add (Milad?).
    So, with Paksoc drawing yet again we needed to win against the 1st year medics who had a trio of trickery attackers in Hussein, Hamzah Umar and Ibby (somali, there?s too many Ibraheem?s masha allah). BUT BREXIT MEANS BREXIT as we used our superior physical presence to bully them throughout the game despite them having waaaaayyyyy superior pace and skills. One BREXIT-LONG BALL (which Pulis/Allardyce would?ve been proud of) let Raheem through to power through and finish with great finesse on his weaker left side into the top corner on the edge of the box with just minutes to play!!! COMETH THE MOMENT COMETH THE MAN AS OUR MOST EXPERIENCED OF PLAYERS SCORED WHEN IT MATTERED MOST (Think Gotze world cup final for the finish) and we secured a last gasp victory at the expense of the 1st year who were sent home to the MJM anatomy sheets and IPAS early?
    SO TO THE SEMI-FINALS? The first semi involved ?4th/5th years? against ?3rd year dentists? in a game where we knew no mistakes could be made. Boasting top players such as Sillandy ( I?m chasing shadows whenever I play against this fella) Ahmed and Musa in attack, we knew we were the underdogs. After a gruelling and tough game where we barely mustered an attack. We resorted to playing a defensive 2-3-1 formation and adopt the ?1/2nd year? tactics of parking the bus. Our ?Puyol- Pique? partnership at the back of Jabed and Ibraheem with David sitting in front like a prime Gilberto Silva made it difficult for any team to breach (I was running around like a headless chicken shouting at everyone else like I was doing something but not actually doing anything). Near the death they hit the crossbar and, bar some great great saves by Ibraheem Malik saves (who was imperious throughout) we held on for penalties. Despite missing one penalty ourselves, the dentists had 2 of theirs saved by our own Iker Casillas in goals as we somehow ended up in the final. With Paksoc growing in stature throughout the tournament and scoring two THUNDERBOLTS against the 3rd year medics (pre-tournament favourites by the bookies), they deservedly joined us in a final in a repeat of the first game of the tournament?
    So with weary legs all around and a healthy size of spectators ready to witness history, the final was about to begin. With designated final referee Haroon warning me before the match about ?dangerous challenges? (even though, as I love to say BREXIT MEANS BREXIT), the baying fans waited in anticipation to hopefully witness an IMED team reign victorious over the PAKSOC party-poopers. The match kicked off (but not before Jabed reminded me he was extra tired because being 6?3 meant the air was less O2 rich at altitude) and PakSoc looked a MUCH improved side as our big team lacked the fitness levels to match their high intensity. I tucked into midfield to help stop their runs but they had the better of the game for large parts. One attack resulted in a glorious through ball to Paksoc which caught out our UNBREACHABLE DEFENCE till then and laid it on a plate for their teammate to strike home into an empty net? BUT OUT OF NOWHERE, PETER SHILTON LIKE, OUR LEGENDAY ?BILATERAL MEDIAL EPICONDYLYTIS? STRICKEN KEEPER GOT FINGERTIPS TO PUSH IT ONTO THE POST TO THE UTTER SHOCK OF EVERYONE PRESENT!!!! This kicked us back into life ( Jabed however was contemplating starting a ?tall-lives matter? movement because apparently doors are designed for short people) but penalties it was yet again for two teams so equally matched and with BOTH TEAMS CONCEDING ZERO GOALS AND EQUALLY DESERVING OF THE TROPHY?
    SO TO PENALTIES TO DECIDE THE WINNER? (KUDOS IF YOU?RE STILL READING THIS FAR, GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK AND REMEMBER WE WANT A HARD BREXIT, NO COMPROMISE) Haroon suddenly decided he?s Pierluigi Collina (google him) and decided to make it 5 pens each and to accurately measure each player?s stance to make sure it was 2 steps each (post-football life has been hard for the young lad?). After 3 penalties each, this ?legendary referee? Hazza suddenly lost count of the score and after some quick discussion with his assistant to rectify his mathematics (sadly Big Shaq wasn?t available on the day) the penalties resumed. After 3 each we had missed 2 already (Raheem wanted Usman to delete the footage?) and when I placed the ball to take my Penalty, our team were in half a mind to pack off home and save further embarassmet. But finish it with aplomb I did, which galvasnised the team and showed that miracles do infact happen folks! After our Maldnini-Nesta partnership of Jabed and Ibby H dispatched both of their penalties, it came down to PakSoc?s 6th penalty. If they missed, they lost? THEY HAD TO SCORE? I WAS MORE NERVOUS THAN A BEARDED MAN PASSING THROUGH BORDER CONTROL, THAN A 1ST YEAR ABOUT TO DO HIS FORMATIVE, THAN JABED WHEN HE MEETS SOMEONE TALLER THAN HIMSELLF? TENSION ENVELOPED THE ?SANTIAGO BOURNEBROOKEOU? AS THE PASKOC PLAYER READIED HIMSLEF AND TOOK HIS SHOT WHICH WAS SAVED BY IBBY MALZ IN GOALS (LOVE THE GUY, MY MAN OF THE TOURNAMENT) WITH PANDEMONIUM ENSUING AND USMAN SHAIKH GRATEFUL THAT AN IMED TEAM ACTUALLY WON THE TOURNAMENT!!!!!! A TOP TOP DEFENSIVE PERFORMANCE FROM A MAKESHIFT SIDE WHICH SHOWS HOW MUCH GRIT, DETERMINATION, DESIRE, AND A BIT OF LUCK CAN TAKE A SIDE!! AMAZING PERFORMANCE FROM EVERY PLAYER, THE 2 IBBYS, ZAID, RIDWAN, FARRIS, DAVID, ARVIND, RAHEEM AND MYSELF LEFT EVERY SINEW OUT ON THAT PICTH!!! WITH AN AVERAGE AGE OF OUR SIDE REACHING 42 (RAHEEM?S BEEN IN MEDSCHOOL SINCE ?04, HE WON?T LEAVE), IT SHOWED THAT SOMETIMES, OLDER IS BETTER!!! AND WELL WELL WELL, HOW IT WAS PROVED ON A WINTERY NIGHT IN BIRMINGHAM.
    Quick shoutout to Humza Ahmad for organising this tournament!! Top Man!!!!
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  • You join us life for the final of the 2018 BADG Charity Football Match
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  • Kafi Osman
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02 Dec 2020

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